Breast Cancer Tried to Dim Her Light, She Choose to Shine On: Stacy Bilodeau's Story

When you hear the words, “You have breast cancer,” your world stops. For Stacy, those four words changed everything — her priorities, her outlook, and her definition of strength. This is her story.

The Diagnosis That Changed Everything

On November 15, 2023, I received the call that would change my life.

“Am I going to die?” I asked my doctor.

Her reply was simple: “Not today.”

I was diagnosed with Stage Three Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC) while my husband — who serves in the U.S. Coast Guard — was underway. The next day, he was dropped off on the dock, and we were sitting in my doctor’s office being handed a single sheet of paper — my “save my life plan.”

But my story started long before that day. Back in 2012, shortly after my son was born, I found a lump in my right breast. Because my mom had breast cancer, I immediately got it checked. The mammogram came back clear — just a cyst, they said. Fast forward to early 2023, that same area felt harder, larger, and had visible dimpling when I raised my arm. My husband urged me to go back to the doctor, but like so many women, I was busy — kids, work, volunteering… I was last on my own list.

That was the biggest mistake of my life. By October 2023, I finally saw my primary care doctor. She immediately felt the lump — and several more. Within days, I had a mammogram, ultrasound, and five biopsies. Then came the waiting — something every military family knows all too well. Only this time, I wasn’t waiting for new orders… I was waiting to hear if I had cancer.

How My Life Changed After Hearing the Words “You Have Cancer”

When I heard those words, I went through all the stages of grief at lightning speed. My first thought was, “I don’t have time to be sick.” But cancer doesn’t wait for a convenient time.

Telling our kids was one of the hardest moments of my life. We chose to keep the conversation simple — explaining that I’d be starting chemo soon, without talking about my stage. We avoided saying, “Mom is sick,” because this mom is one hell of a fighter.

All of 2024 became my “save my life” year. I went through:

• 16 rounds of chemo — including the infamous Red Devil and weekly Taxol treatments
• 5 surgeries, including a double mastectomy and lymph node removal
• 28 rounds of radiation, Monday through Friday
• And eventually, a reconstruction surgery in August 2025

This journey redefined me. My priorities shifted. I finally put myself on the list. I gave the battle to God, discovered strength I never knew I had, and realized how much my life as a military spouse had prepared me for this — resilience, adaptability, and the ability to fight through uncertainty.

Life is short, but through it all, my message has remained the same: Shine On. Because even in the hardest times, there’s always light.

Redefining Strength

Before cancer, I thought being strong meant doing everything myself — carrying it all without asking for help.

Now, I know better.

Strength isn’t about doing it alone.

It’s about asking for help, being vulnerable, showing up on the hardest days, and giving yourself grace. It’s about faith — and choosing to keep going when you want to quit.

Who Helped Me Stay Strong

My husband, Jeremy, has been my rock. Even when he was deployed, he found ways to be there — coming home from the dock just to sit with me during chemo, to hold my hand, to remind me I wasn’t fighting alone.

My children have shown more strength and maturity than I could have ever imagined. They laughed with me through my awkward hair regrowth, helped me when I couldn’t walk, and reminded me every day what I was fighting for.

I also found incredible strength in my community — both online and in person. The women at the Inspire Up Foundation — Maria Reed, Samantha Gomolka, Jessica Manfre, and Brittany Boccher — were my anchors. They, along with countless friends, sent messages, gift cards, handwritten letters, and constant encouragement. Their support carried me through.

What Breast Cancer Awareness Month Means to Me

For me, Breast Cancer Awareness Month is a reminder — and a call to action. It’s the time to share stories like mine so that other women never wait as long as I did. If you take one thing away from this, let it be this: put yourself on your to-do list.

Schedule that mammogram. Make that doctor’s appointment. Your health matters — you matter.

How to Support Someone Going Through Cancer

Every cancer journey is different. The best thing you can do is meet them where they are. Some want to talk, some don’t. But never stop showing up.

For me, the most meaningful gestures were simple — a text to check in, a DoorDash gift card, a handwritten note, or someone offering to drive my kids.

The cancer journey is long. Keep checking in — not just at the start, but months later. Those small acts of love make all the difference.

What’s Next

My journey isn’t over yet. I haven’t reached NED (No Evidence of Disease), but my hair is growing back — and it’s a hot mess blessing!

I’m focusing on rebuilding my strength. Before all this, I ran marathons and did CrossFit — now, my goal is to move forward one day at a time.

I also feel called to advocate within the military community. I want to help improve programs like EFMP (Exceptional Family Member Program), so families have better support when the spouse — the one holding down the home front — becomes the one in need.

My Message This Month

Don’t wait. Don’t put things off.

Behind every pink ribbon is a story — a family, a fighter, a light.

And no matter how dark it gets, always remember to SHINE ON.

 

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